Reconciliation (Confession)

What is Reconciliation?

Reconciliation is the sacrament in which God forgives sins committed after Baptism.

Many Catholics call this sacrament Confession, because we confess our sins to a priest. The Church also calls it Reconciliation, because God restores us to friendship with Himself and with the Church. It is a sacrament of mercy, conversion and a new beginning.

This sacrament is not meant to be frightening. It is one of the great sacraments of healing. We come to God with our sins, weakness and confusion, and He meets us with mercy.

Through the ministry of the priest, God gives pardon and peace.

Why go to Confession?

Sin damages our relationship with God. It can also harm other people, wound the Church, and make us less free to love as Christ asks us to love.

In Confession, we bring our sins honestly before God, trusting that His mercy is greater than our sins.

The sacrament gives us grace to begin again. It restores us to God’s friendship, strengthens us against future sin, and brings peace to the conscience.

Confession is especially important when we are conscious of serious sin. If we are aware of serious sin, we should go to Confession before receiving Holy Communion. However, it is also good to confess venial sins, because the sacrament helps us grow in humility, self-knowledge and love of God.

How do I make my Confession?

If you have not been to Confession for a long time, or if you are not sure what to do, please do not worry. You can simply tell the priest:

“Father, I haven’t been to Confession for a long time. Please help me.”

That is a perfectly good beginning.

Before Confession, spend a few quiet minutes asking God to help you. Think honestly about your life, your relationships, your duties, and the ways you may have turned away from God. This is called an examination of conscience.

You may find it helpful to ask yourself:

• Have I loved God and made time for prayer and Mass?
• Have I treated other people with kindness, honesty and respect?
• Have I damaged anyone by my words, actions or neglect?
• Have I been truthful about myself and my responsibilities?
• Are there habits or patterns in my life that I need God’s help to change?

When you enter the confessional, begin with the Sign of the Cross. You can then say:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [say roughly how long] since my last Confession.”

Then confess your sins simply and honestly. You do not need long explanations or perfect words. If something needs a little context, give it briefly.

If you are conscious of serious sin, say what the sin was and, as far as you reasonably can, how often it happened.

When you have finished, you may say:

“I am sorry for these and all my sins.”

The priest may offer a little advice. He will give you a penance, which may be a prayer, a simple act of charity, or something else that expresses sorrow and a desire to live differently.

He will then invite you to make an Act of Contrition. You can use words you know; the prayer is also available in the confessional, and the priest will help you if you are unsure what to say.

The priest then gives absolution. This is the sacramental prayer through which God forgives your sins.

After Confession, take a little time to thank God. If your penance is a prayer, it is often good to say it in church before you leave.

If you forgot to mention something small, do not be anxious. If you made an honest Confession and did not deliberately hide anything, trust in God’s forgiveness.

Is Confession private?

Yes.

The Seal of Confession is absolute. A priest may never reveal what he has heard in Confession, for any reason.

This means you can come to the sacrament freely and honestly. What is said in Confession remains there.

When are Confessions heard at St John Payne?

Confessions are normally heard:

• Half an hour before each Mass
• From 4pm to 4.50pm on Saturdays
• By appointment

Please check the parish newsletter for occasional changes, especially around Holy Days, Christmas, Easter and other special days.

If you would like to arrange Confession at another time, please contact the parish office or speak to Fr Alex after Mass.

Children and First Confession

Children preparing for First Holy Communion are also prepared for their First Confession.

First Confession is a separate sacrament and takes place before First Holy Communion. It helps children learn, in a simple and age-appropriate way, how to say sorry, receive God’s forgiveness, and begin again.

Adults who have not been to Confession for many years

Many adults return to Confession after a long time away. Some feel nervous. Some are unsure what to say. Some worry that they will be judged.

Please do not let that stop you.

The sacrament is not there to humiliate you. It is there because Christ wants to forgive, heal and restore. A simple first step is enough: come at one of the usual Confession times, or contact the parish if you would prefer to make an appointment.

If you are not Catholic

If you are not Catholic, or if you are thinking about becoming Catholic, you are very welcome to speak to Fr Alex.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is normally received by baptised Catholics. If you are preparing to become Catholic, the parish will help you understand the right path and the sacraments involved.